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Catch Me (If You Can)
Catch Me...if you can For firey's challenge Fallen Rose She roams the moors at night, a ghost white against the horizon line. Softly she treads through the hills, racing down the valleys, rolling in the grass. She slips down the rabbit burrows, crawls through the empty badger dens and hops over the forgotten nests. She skips in lazy circles around the ponds. Sometimes she plays catch with the fireflies. She is alone, at night. She can hear the gentle chitter of the wind as it tugs at her ears. She can feel the movement of every fur on her pelt, waving like the long grass stems swishing in the breeze. Sometimes when she knows she's alone she lies down and looks at the stars. She feels herself fall from the earth and drift slowly upwards, climbing until the sky swallows her. She has the world to herself, at night. She thinks, though she wishes she wouldn't. She looks at her broken reflection in water and feels a jolt in her stomach. The body she sees is so detached, it feels as though her soul is staring through out from prison. When her only friend is the night breeze she feels too much. The silence frightens her. So she finds them. The things like her, with the fur and the legs and the waving tails. At first they scare her tender ears with their carefree noise. She only creeps close enough to see them over the edge of the hollow they live in, too many of them together so her eyes start to swim. Their emotions are so raw she can feel the sadness soak the ground, the joy ooze from their eyes and the anger set the air aflame. They fascinate her. They pull her to them, an inescapable carnal need. Slowly, their sounds take away the terrible silence of the night. The bone-numbing cold she feels when she sleeps alone vanishes. They laugh and her heart sings, aching for some primitive mystery. Joy she knows but to feel ''it... Once, a long time ago, she was ''something. Her drifting, restless soul was placid and firmly rooted in a body that fit neatly. What, ''she does not know ''what ''she was but it completed her. She used to be part of something, a fish in rushing water. An eagle slipping through the wind. A petal, soft and delicate, folding itself into a flower. But she fell off the edge of the world. And it stills feels like she hasn't landed. So these things, they fascinate her. She wants to know what they are- she ''has ''to know. A young male strays outside at night. His brown eyes are bright and she likes the shine in them because they remind her of the stars. She doesn't know this form but she steps from the grass and he stops, every line tensing and hardening in his fear. She relaxes. She lowers the line of her shoulders and tilts her head. Playful. Good. His ears prick. Curious. His fur relaxes. Incautious. " Catch me," she says, voice thin and slipping and sliding between her teeth. His eyes narrow slightly. " I'm sorry, I-" " Catch me," she repeats, holding onto the voice this time. She steps closer and he leans away. " I don't-" " Catch me," she insists, stepping even closer. She looks into his eyes and ''yes ''something is so familiar. She looks and looks until she dives straight in, breaking the clear amber surface and swimming to him, grabbing on. " Catch me." He loosens, his mind falters. He thinks but he finds that it doesn't work very well. She starts to run, he starts to follow. They race off into the stars. The grass sways. A cloud passes over the moon. The night breeze forgets they were ever there. Iridescent Before, she used to be a ''somebody. ''Her name would roll off tongues with awe, eyes would widen when they saw her. She remembered a ''fire ''in her stomach, a flame blazing with pride. She used to love who she was (and know who she was). She was anchored. She had roots. Like the four great trees that grow together she was one with the soil, one with the sky. She had a home. Now, as she steps down the stars and weaves through the treetops, she feels a hard stone in her stomach. This world is so bleak. The colors are washed and faded. There is cold and dark. There is a menace that lurks at the edges of everything, an evil that she once forgot she knew. She slams her claws against the ground with anger. Who was she? Where was she from? Was she always like this, a nomad only fit to aimlessly roam the moors? She shakes her head in disbelief, a low growl rumbling in her throat. Looking upwards at the blue-black mass of sky, a star shines at her. Shines desperately, burns in begging. There is the tom she took, trapped here and nowhere, within her heart and outside her mind. He doesn't understand but something about him made her do so. He brought a memory. A memory of belonging. And didn't these creatures make her feel warm inside? Didn't she love them, so fiercely is frightened her? Didn't she crawl close like an insect just to share their warmth? Something about them... something about their five appendages and oddly-shaped heads draws her. They are familiar. And so the answer, of some sort, must lie with them. ''Who am I? ''she asks herself as she races through the hills once more. ''What was I? Where is my home? '' Exhausted, she stops running. The night breeze swirls around her and she looks upwards once again, closing her eyes and letting the stars burn into her vision. She clenches her teeth and her mind fastens claws around her heart. With a screech of fury, she ''pulls. '' Her behind-eyelids vision explodes. She stands in the sunlight. Warm, true sunlight that fills her every pore with the sweetest warmth. Grass. Gold-green grass that gently bows. A sweet breeze. A low murmur. Someone speaks. A crash. A flash of dark, cruel shadow steals away her light. She looks down. A paw- ''her ''paw- inky black, pressed firmly to the earth, surrounded by a halo of light. Tiny sparks shine in her fur. The rumbling persists. The grass darkens. A shadow begins to race across the hills, a hungry storm eating up the land and sunshine and as it barrels towards her she tries to scream but can't and she's falling backwards and one by one the stars begin to wink out of her fur until she's ''gone-'' The she-cat gasps. Her vision vanishes, the dull stillness of this new world surrounds her. She's breathing too fast. Her heart is racing and her vision swims, world dipping in and out of her vision. She swallows hard and steadies herself, focusing on her breathing. ''In, out. In, out. '' So her memories of Before are still there. She can still find out who she was- and now, she knows ''what ''she was. One of these creatures, which explains why she needs to be with them so much- A scent drifts in on the breeze. One of them. Heart pounding with urgency, the she-cat rises to her feet and darts away into the grass. She crouches low to the ground and pricks her ears, closing her eyes to immerse herself in smell and sound. The dull crackle of grass-under-paw seems as loud as thunder. This is followed by the gentle rasp of breath, and a scent- sweet and gentle, a female in her prime. The she-cat steps from the grass. The other female lets out an alarmed screech and jumps backwards. Her eyes- green like grass- widen with shock. Her mottled fur stands on edge and she curls her lip, displaying fearsome yellow fangs. " Who are you?" she spits, ferocity crackling in the air around her. ''Who am I. ''The she-cat stares at the female. ''Perhaps I was like you. Beautiful. Once. '' The answer lies here. " Catch me," the she-cat purrs, flattening herself to the ground. The female's eyes widen. " Are you mad?" she demands, lashing her tail. " State your business on my territory." The she-cat continues to purr. She widens her eyes and softens her expression. " Catch me," she giggles. " Catch me if you can." And she turns on her heel and runs. An outraged howl comes from behind her and the female launches into pursuit. The she-cat runs and runs, weaving through grass, pounding up hills. Relentless, the female follows, all the way up to the stars. ''I was like you. I shone, once. I was iridescent. '' I will have you without armor, or not at all. Once, he was one with the sky. He was part of the cool expanse of deep, endless blue. He was part of a fathomless expanse of hopelessness and nothing. Every particle of loss and darkness slotted neatly into his long claws and dark-as-death eyes. Once. Once, he had everything. Then he fell- fell from the sky, clawed at the nothingness he had once loved and plummeted to the earth like a stone. The stars saw him fall and they laughed. He remembers their cold sneers burning into his vision as for the first time in his existence he cried for help. But ''what ''exactly he was, he cannot say. The though frustrates him. An angry growl rumbles in his throat as he slips through the trees like a shadow. Now he is condemned to wander in the blistering sunshine, exposed and vulnerable. He used to be cloaked in soft, cool shadow. The harsh sun rays seem to turn his black fur to ash. He looks up at the blinding light and feels hot hatred well in his throat. His mouth opens and a wild, furious screech rings out. The sun says nothing. He snorts. ''What did you expect it to do? Apologize and offer to groom your fur for you? Yes, ''a tiny part of his being whispers back. ''It should bow to you. '' He shakes his head in frustration. The coolness of grass under his paws helps soothe him slightly, but the calm vanishes when he stops by a small stream. In the factured light of water his reflections shimmers into view and he snarls in disgust. Black fur stretches across five long appendages and triangular head. Obsidian eyes peer out at him. He has always been ''like ''this, but this has never been him. He never had a body. His soul was not stuffed into some rotting prison, and he resembled no one else (''is he sure). Now, multiple creatures with the same odd form run amock in the forest like headless chickens. Something crackles in the bushes behind him. He turns, and a small rodent emerges. Letting out a guttural growl he swipes his claws in a deadly arc at the creature's throat. His claws pass straight through the mouse. It stiffens but no bloody wound opens on its neck. After a few moments, it turns and darts away. " No," he hisses. " No, no, no!" ''He cannot kill? He used to- he used to kill and slaughter and his paws used to be scarlet with blood and souls and once he used to kill he did he- His vision spirals out. He falls- no, he rises. Something in his body clicks. Home. His 'eyes' open, but this is no carnal vision this is simply ''being ''(''the way he used to before-). '' He 'looks up'. Above him, claws outstretched and eyes shining with stars and glowing with detestable light, he sees ''her. '' She is a body of hope and joy and starlight and sunshine and he ''hates ''her. He wants to throttle her light with his shadows. He wants to- As they churn slowly in the sky, the space between their claws vanishes. The slightest tip of their claws touch and he feels a shock run through him. A bolt of pure energy runs through him and he feels as though he has woken. ''Y o u d a r e ! ''he thunders. ''idare, ''she giggles back. ''doyouwanttoplayagame. F o o l. I p l a y n o g a m e s. '' ''youresoboring, ''she affects a sigh. ''iseeyou. solonely. comelet'splayagame. I a m n o t l o n e l y I a m d a r k n e s s a n d y o u s h o u l d f e a r m e- '' ''howmanycowsdoyousee, ''she laughs, and glows. ''countthem. ihaveseenfiftysofar. cowsaremyfavourite. He ignores her. '' But it grows hard to ignore someone for eternity. He plays her silly games, he lets her laugh and after a while her light begins to sting him less and less. ''C o m e c l o s e r, ''he begs of her one day. ''L e t u s s p e a k f a c e t o f a c e. She giggles again. She glows, encompassing another star. He, in turn, takes another black hole. Funnyfunny. I d o n o t j o k e. '' ''iknow. itisfunnybecauseyouaresodarkandcold. ithinkiwillfreezeificomecloser. '' ''I f I a m c o l d y o u a r e b u r n i n g. A n d I s t i l l d o n o t m i n d y o u r w a r m t h. Butiamlight. Iamgood. Mylightheals. Yourdarknesskills. Takedownyourwalls. Thenwewillsee. W a l l s ? Y o u t a k e d o w n y o u r s. But she simply laughs and shines brighter. As the centuries pass he begs and begs but she doesn't listen. He cries and she giggles, he screams and she purrs. He calls out to her in his agony. He tries to explain that constant nothing is driving him mad. He needs something real, something whole to feel before he explodes. She does not listen. She laughs. His anger grows and his desire to destroy burns bright, brighter than her finest stars, so bright that he considers razing the world to the ground just to know something exists again but to hear her laugh oh that is the sound that has kept him alive so why does he want to see her dead, why does he hate why does he hate so much and he's falling now so far down perhaps he won't make it perhaps he will never hear her laugh again- His new vision blinks back into place. The sky vanishes and his head swims. He keels over, stomach churning, breathing hard and fast. His memories take a while to collect themselves. He begins to pierce together the pieces- his being, his oneness with the universe, and her. ''She spun above him, gave him light, but she laughed too much and he- His stomach turns cold. What did do to her? ''Paws red with blood and souls and '' w''hat did he do? The Pretty Two-Faced Fox Instead of roaming the moors this night, the she-cat goes to visit the souls she stole. She doesn't quite know how she does it. She knows none of the others cats (is she really one?) can do this. But she stands still in the wild grass and tilts her head up. She looks at the dark sky and the burning stars and closes her eyes. Claws digging into the earth as she concentrates, she forces herself to rise ''and ''feel ''and then- and then she walks on stars. Like sun-kissed pebbles under a river they mold neatly under her claws. Scarlet, fiery yellow and smoldering orange form a path under her paws. The darkness tugs at her like cold water but the stars keep her rooted. As she walks they appear under her paws, twinkling with warmth and affection. She looks down. The patchwork of the earth is spread below her- green, glowing, and infinitely small for something so large. The beauty steals her breath away. But then she is hit by a pang of homesickness, so powerful she thinks she might vomit. She had all this beauty and more, Before. It was stolen from her, stolen by- ?? she searches for an answer but only finds a void in her mind. The she-cat shakes her head. The hollow pain in her stomach spreads up to her heart and if she could cry like the humans, she would. Instead, she shakes her head. ''Enough sorrow, ''she berates herself. ''You seek answers, you will find them here. She walks on her path of stars, winding through the clouds and inky black sky. The wind gets colder and crueler but her stars keep her warm. In a tiny pocket of the sky, behind the smoky clouds, her path comes to an end (but I used to go everywhere). ''By the end are two balls of fire. She steps closer. Inside, she can make out the vague forms of two cats, curled in fetal positions, consumed by fire until only their eyes glow. " Wake," she commands. Her voice rings with power and the fire banishes. Like falling leaves, the two souls fall gently onto the star path. She waits, and like unfurling petals they stand. Their smoky forms begin to color in slightly, and their glowing eyes dim. She feels a pang of regret looking at them. Before, her souls were so much more beautiful- not this pathetic excuse she sees now. ''" Harestreak?" ''the female questions. Her eyes are wide. ''" Wh-where are we?" The male is looking down. When he looks up a vague, queasy expression is on his face. "We-we-wha...?" '' Harestreak sees her. His expression changes alarmingly quickly and finally settles on confusion. ''" You! I remember-" " I remember you, too!" ''the female chimes in. Her eyes narrow. ''" What did you do to me? What did you do?!" ''her voice rises in pitch. The she-cat does not like this tone. But she forgives it, because the female is obviously confused and frightened. ''" Answers." " Answers to what?" ''Harestreak squeaks. ''" You're the one who put us on some freaky sparkle bridge. Take us back!" " Answers to me," ''she says calmly. ''" I want to know about me." '' ''" Why in the name of StarClan would I know anything about you?" ''the female demands. ''" What do you think-" " Stop." ''The she-cat commands. Something she said- something awakened her. Something is thrumming in her blood. ''" Repeat yourself." '' ''"Why?" ''" Do it!" ''the she-cat snarls. The stars glow dangerously bright and the female flinches. The she-cat purrs softly in her anger. ''" Don't make me angry. Bad things happen when I become angry." '' Eyes wide with fear, the female speaks. ''" Wh-why in the name of StarClan would I know anything about y-" '' ''"StarClan," ''the she-cat says softly. The stars at her feet twinkle slightly. ''" StarClan." ''The word fits warm on her tongue and she feels a pleasant joy in her stomach. ''" Who is StarClan?" '' The female laughs nervously. ''" What are you?" '' ''" I don't know," ''the she-cat says softly. She pours loss and sorrow into her eyes ''(so two-faced, ''a dark, cold voice rings in her mind). ''" Please, tell me who is StarClan is." '' The female hesitates, but Harestreak speaks instead. ''" StarClan isn't a 'who', it's a 'what'. It's... this place where our ancestors go when they die. In the stars. They guide us and send omens but..." ''he trails off. ''" But...what? But what?" ''she says desperately. ''" But they have been silent. The medicine cats say there is nothing, just a void. StarClan is... gone." ''Harestreak's voice quavered. StarClan is gone. She turns and begins to walk away, her pace increasing as panic spreads through her bones. Behind her the two cats call for her to free them but she won't. She likes having them burn with her. StarClan is gone. Cold I will strip away all that you know until you have no shelter but mine.